I wish i still had your heart. Doesnt matter fixed or broken or half day like mine. I’ll still cherish whatever i have of you. I know its scary whatever we experience in the past. Honestly, not a day i still think about it and wishing it wouldnt happen at all as i know deep down my emotions and feelings for you has been always real. I know i do love you but i feel like i’ve been really emotional distant. To everyone. It triggers me everyday that im not being able to hold onto a girl who has put 100% work in me while i give nothing in return. The future is gonna be scary but isnt being scared means you are doing something that you know its really important for you? I think of it that way as i cant live my life without you properly. You are my happy pill. Days gone and im still holding onto you cause our relationship is so dear to me. Not a day have i not thought about you and not a day that i still want you. In the end, i want you as my wife. I know its gonna be scary, a of doubts, a lot resentment but i promise i will never do it again. I know chances are slim now, but i know i’ll never do it again. You gave me your heart fully, i didnt take it and grab it and polish it till its shiny gold. I want that again, i really want us again. My heart has been calling out for you each and everyday. Its gonna be scary and bumpy but its gonna be worth it as i’m gonna make it proper and fix what i’ve broken. No more of those games. I wanna create a path where i spend my life with you and only you. Amirah, i really miss you so much. It hurts that im no more there. Its hurts that i dont get to spend time with you at all. Amirah, i really really want you back and i wont waste any chances anymore. I hope, you do consider. I use to be naive, stupid and immature but i know now what i want. I like to think i’ve been a mature-forward thinking-less risky-not so stupid boy. I will never ever ever hurt you anymore, i can promise you that. I really wish to have to you back. Only for that to happen, is to have your heart back again whatever state it is in, but i promise there’s no more the past me. Just the better me.
Ya Allah, please izinkan semua doa i’ve made. I cannot live like this when i know i am so in love with her. Ya Allah, i hope you izinkan. Ya Allah, i pray you izinkan.